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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28228776">Ghosts</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/PortlyPuppy/pseuds/PortlyPuppy'>PortlyPuppy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Lost</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>1970s, DHARMA Initiative, F/M, Light Angst, Memories, One Shot, Pre-Relationship, Romance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 16:06:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,691</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28228776</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/PortlyPuppy/pseuds/PortlyPuppy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After ripping through time and space, Juliet and James struggle to process "normal" life in the Dharma Initiative and so escape to the beach with a bottle of infamous Dharma rum. However, the shadows cast from Flight 815 and being an Other aren't done with them yet.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Juliet Burke/James "Sawyer" Ford</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Ghosts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It is Games Night in the Dharma village and James and Juliet are both in attendance.</p><p>“So, bingo, huh?” James mutters to her by the refreshment table during a break in game play. Amused at his tone, she smiles back at him as he hands her a warm glass of wine, their hands briefly touching.</p><p>It had been Jin who had suggested they attend, and she looks over now to see him flanked by Miles and a couple of female neighbours, his face a blank mask. She knows he must be thinking of Sun, but the thought of this pains her and she pushes her out of her mind.</p><p>“We go this” he’d said, tapping on a flyer pinned outside the store one lunchtime.</p><p>“What!?” James had asked in confusion, trying to work out if this was another language barrier misunderstanding.</p><p>“We go.” Jin repeated. “People mix… us less weird.”</p><p>“You got a sudden hankering for old ladies circling random numbers? ‘Cos I sure as hell don’t?”</p><p>“He’s right.” Juliet replied, putting her hand on James’s arm. “We need to mingle with people. Not stand apart on our own and make people suspicious about us.”</p><p>James had sighed loudly, but nevertheless he was there tonight in the rec hall, dragging Miles along with him. Despite his aversion to group extracurriculars he knew the importance of playing a part to establish the long con. He’s had enough practice.</p><p>Another half hour passes, and Juliet finds her ability to feign interest in her neighbour’s conversation, a dull but well-meaning gardener, beginning to sag, likewise her attention to bingo scores.</p><p>She feels a prickle of heat spreading along her neck and looks down to see her hand shaking slightly. This night is too normal. Was it less than a month ago she’d spent the majority of her days running -running for her life - through the jungle? She tries to count to ten slowly in her head – three years as an Other and she should be able to handle the basic symptoms of PTSD.</p><p>She looks up and immediately meets James’s eyes. He blinks at her and then gestures his head towards the door, one eyebrow raised. He’d been watching her, she realizes, as she gives him a nod in return.</p><p><em>He had her back</em>.</p><p>Other people have already started peeling away from the rec room, so they won’t be conspicuous by their absence. Despite this, Juliet makes sure she leaves first, apologizing to Amy, the person at the table who she likes most – the closest thing she has to a girl friend here.</p><p>James meets her five minutes later, waiting just outside the play park, with half a bottle of Dharma rum tucked under one arm.</p><p>“Evenin’” he says and he’s all dimples. “Thought you might like something a bit stronger?” He tips the rum in her direction.</p><p>She smiles. “Absolutely.”</p><p>He sets off through the village and she follows, keeping pace but not asking where they are going.</p><p>They walk in silence until they reach a break in the jungle and have to scramble over a few rocks to reach the path down onto the beach. It’s difficult in the dark and James lends her his hand to help her scoot over the worst of it.</p><p>The feel of his firm grip makes her realize that the silence, which she had thought had been simply amiable, is laced with a deeper kind of tension.</p><p>Blushing, she’s glad he can’t see her properly in the thick darkness.</p><p>He remains silent as they walk along the beach and she tries to scrutinize him, realizing she needs the companionship to make everything she has to face bearable.</p><p>“So, if you’d told me a month ago that I’d spent my Saturday evening playing bingo with the Dharma Initiative, I’d have written you a prescription.”</p><p>It comes out as more of a jumble than she’d anticipated, speaking more quickly than her usual manner, as she’s eager to crack his uncharacteristic silence.</p><p>“Nothing surprises me about this damned place anymore. I lost that when I shot a polar in the jungle.”</p><p>She’s glad to hear a note of amusement in his voice in return, and when they reach a pile of driftwood they sit with their backs against it, shoulders touching.</p><p>He offers her the first taste of rum and she gladly takes it from him, keeping her eyes on the line of white waves breaking at some distance in front of them.</p><p>“Heck, I ain’t ever played bingo in my life before,” he admits. “But nothing on this rock surprises me anymore.”</p><p>She hands him back the bottle. “Well, it’s not so bad. I definitely spent worse nights in this village in the past. Or in the future should I say.” She laughs a little, struggling as always to get her head straight on their bizarre chronology.</p><p>He laughs with her and takes a swig of the drink. “Sure beats running from flaming arrows. Guess I’m just struggling here to adjust to the new pace. Village life and all that.”</p><p>He won't meet her eye as he takes another drink, so she carries on the conversation.</p><p>“And so, we came to the beach, right? Are you missing life back in your tent?”</p><p>Reaching down, he picks up a fistful of sand, letting it slowly drain through his fingers and back onto the beach.</p><p>She watches him as he hands her back the bottle. For the last three and a half weeks he’d maintained a positive front, enjoying the challenge of blending their lives into the Dharma village, questioning them constantly to produce convincing back stories, while maneuvering himself into a comfortable position in Dharma security. Not to mention the thing she’s most thankful for – that he hadn’t questioned her about her decision not to disclose her medical background to the village and had instead negotiated her position in the mechanic pool without comment.</p><p>He eventually looks up and watches as she takes another drink.</p><p>“For all that time, I just wanted to leave that damn beach…”</p><p>“And now you miss it?” Juliet guesses, her face calm.</p><p>He smirks, shaking his head. “No. Actually, Blondie, I thought we’d either be rescued or stay in that camp forever. I never suspected I’d be living in this howdy doody model village.”</p><p>Now it’s her turn to smirk. “And all I wanted to do for three years was leave that village, and yet here I am, still here.”</p><p>The rum may have freed her tongue but she’s not brave enough to add out loud that it’s been three and a half weeks. She said she’d give him two weeks and it’s been three and a half and she’s still here.</p><p>She hopes he’s noticed. No, she knows he’s noticed, but she hopes that he cares – that he’s glad. Neither of them has mentioned it and yet it hangs in the air between them. She’s determined not to be the first one to mention it, however. The protective shell formed from her past relationships remains intact.</p><p>“They ain’t coming back, you know that, right?”</p><p>She sits up a little bit straighter. “What?”</p><p>“I figure they’d have come back by now if they were going to. If they’d been rescued and told folks there were other survivors.”</p><p>“James, you don’t know that.”</p><p>“Well, I ain’t going to sit around waiting to be rescued… waiting for them, or, heck, waiting for Locke to do whatever time travel magic business he was going to do.”</p><p>Her smile is weaker now. “Well, it might take some time. We don’t even know how… if it’s logistically possible to get out of 1974.”</p><p>Every time she mentions the year she has to pinch herself to believe all this has happened. Is happening.</p><p>“And old Science-boy ain’t looking like he’s going to be much help.”<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>She agrees with this. Faraday’s behaviour since they’d arrived in Dharmaville had become increasingly erratic, disappearing for days at a time, and then talking to himself more frequently than he spoke to them on his return. It was hard to see him initiating any kind of rescue.</p><p>James shifts his position behind her. “Well, we just gotta get on here now. We don’t even know if they… if those in the helicopter even survived.”</p><p>Staring at him, she carefully hands back the bottle. He looks at it, rubbing his finger over the label rather than taking another drink.</p><p>“All of that what happened. All the campfire, pow wow, kumbaya on the beach - it’s all over," he continues softly.</p><p>He looks back down at the sand, running his fingers through it again, and letting the grain fall back down to nothing.</p><p>“Did you love her?” Juliet asks quietly, guessing what is occupying his silent thoughts.</p><p>He glances at her for a split second only, and looks like he’s not going to say anything, but the rum has apparently loosened his tongue as well.</p><p>“I… don’t know… Hell it wouldn’t have made any difference if I did, am guessing she would have always found her way back to the Doc, whatever.” He continues looking down.</p><p>“We saw you” Juliet says. “Jack and I saw you and Kate on the security cameras. In the cages.”</p><p>James sighs again and closes his eyes. “Yeah, well. I’m not going to lie but she’d have never stayed with me, not for long. I ain’t an idiot, I know what she saw in me, what attracted her to me, and it wasn’t good. I wasn’t good, Juliet.”</p><p>There’s a silence and then Juliet gives a short laugh, which lights up her face. “Yeah well, James. I was an Other.”</p><p>He joins in with her laughter and then pulls her back to lean against his chest, resting an arm casually against her side. It jolts Juliet, this sudden touch of human affection, but she can’t think of any objection and so leans into it, the alcohol freeing her inhibitions.</p><p>“I guess it’d have tired me out eventually. Of her running back to the Doc’ each time I breathed the wrong way. We were never on solid ground, never properly good.”</p><p>He thinks back to the times Kate had to come to him and then he’d found her leaving, afterwards, never staying with him for long – never fully satisfied or happy.</p><p>Juliet knows that he’s covering. That his feelings for Kate go deeper than he’ll admit, but she’s also glad that he’s starting to reach an understanding of how damaging their dynamic could be.</p><p>She wants to tell him that he deserves better, that he doesn’t need to be with some who he reminds of the worst parts of themselves, and of those of someone else. Of someone who is drawn to the darkness in him. However, that’s too many words for right now, so she just leans back against him, feeling the pleasing weight of his chest behind her.</p><p>“What about you and the Doc anyhow?” he drawls. “You missing his bedside manner?”</p><p>Juliet smirks. “James, he kissed me once because he knew Kate was watching. There was never really anything there.”</p><p>James makes a non-committal noise and rubs his fingers gently against her waist. Any mention of Jack always makes him prickly, even when he is the one to bring him up.</p><p> “I was just so tired of living on this island,” she sighs sadly. “So, trapped here and Jack was someone different… and he seemed like a nice guy compared to the Others.”</p><p>“Well, I guess we both got taken for a ride then, huh?” James twists round so they are looking at each other and she smiles back at him.</p><p>She feels her stomach growl – unsurprising after all the rum and no food, but she doesn’t want this moment between them to end yet. This is the most she’s heard James say… well, ever. And she’s not ready to leave the feel of lying against him and the smell she is beginning to recognise as being pleasingly him.</p><p>Jin will no doubt be sprawled out on the sofa in their little yellow house and she’s not ready to go home and sit awkwardly between them, nor go home and sit in her room alone.</p><p>James had managed to get Miles transferred to another house within a week of their arrival and Juliet is thankful to no longer have to deal with the mind-blowing amount of mess he had managed to produce in those three days.</p><p>There had also been talk of Juliet moving out to live with some other women, but wires had obviously gotten crossed at some point, as James had approached her earlier in the week looking uncharacteristically reticent.</p><p>“So, uh turns out they ain’t too many ladies here in Dharmaville, and they haven’t been able to get you another room…”</p><p>She had simply looked at him in response, perversely wanting to prolong the moment and force him to keep talking.</p><p>He’d rubbed his face a little and the said, quickly, “But they have found a room for Jin, that is if you ain’t going to mind that?”</p><p>She’d tried to keep her expression neutral. “No, I don’t mind.” Pause. “If you don’t mind?”</p><p>A smile had flashed across James’s face, which he’d quickly tried to hide, but Juliet had seen it and immediately preserved it to memory. He wanted her to himself.</p><p>“Great, I’ll let Horace know then. And Jin,” he’d said and disappeared out of the room like a shot.</p><p>Thus, in three days’ time, the house will be just their house, and the thought of it radiates a feeling of hope through Juliet like she hasn’t felt in years.</p><p>---</p><p>“Empty,” says James, shaking the bottle at her and snapping her back into the present.</p><p>“Well, this is the most fun I’ve ever had on a bingo night” she says, smiling and feeling her cheeks, which are now rosy with the liquor. They sit and stare at the waves for a while, his arm warm around her.</p><p>The breeze in the air eventually turns a little cooler, and the growl of her stomach increases, and so Juliet turns to him and asks: “Do you think, James, that you’re ready to say goodbye to the beach?”</p><p>She knows it’s a little cheesy and on the nose, but she wants to say something to underline their conversation that evening, that she’s heard James and his struggles with past, yet at the same time she’s eager to nudge him gently into their shared present.</p><p>He pauses for a moment, before turning to her and saying “Absolutely, Blondie.”</p><p>She smiles at him, too late to try and hide it now, and is glad of the hand he offers to pull her up, because both her legs and head are wobblier than she’d anticipated.</p><p>“Woah, there” he says, steadying her, and his hand is strong and warm. It takes her back to that night on the other beach when he’d run back to save her from an inevitable gory death via flaming arrow, and so she holds onto him a bit tighter.</p><p>“Let’s go home” he says.</p><p>Holding hands all the way back through the jungle, Juliet feels lighter and lighter, and as they see the lights of the Dharma village glowing through the trees, the shadows of the beach and of Oceanic 815 are left behind.</p><p><em>Home</em>. The place that for three years for her had been a prison, and now, in another time, was somehow a home.</p><p>They find Jin as expected, in front of the television and he give James a knowing look as they join him, which Juliet pretends not to notice. Sawyer takes a book from the shelf and positions himself in the armchair, his expression softer now than it had been earlier on the beach. After a few moments he looks up meets her eye and the look they exchange is soft and sweet.</p><p>It seems so unlikely, after the last three years – after the crushing pain of separation from her sister – and she’s not ready to admit it to herself yet, but she feels a growing sense of happiness in this small yellow house.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is my first fic for the Lost fandom so sorry if it's a little rough and please be nice! Hey, it's a sad Christmas and I'm rewatching Lost and having feels about these two - what a rich goldmine they have left for some angsty fan fic.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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